The divorce process is not a pleasant one, particularly if you are dealing with a less than amicable split. However, when children are involved, everything becomes more complex and more likely to require outside help from divorce solicitors and even the courts.
No one really wants to fight over their children, but when it comes to your ex, you may find agreeing the terms of contact with your children frustrating and difficult. In some cases, parents will have to compromise on what is best for their child, not what they prefer for the other parent.
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Common Child Contact Issues
During a divorce, you need to determine where the children are going to stay. In many cases, one parent keeps them during the week and the other on weekdays and holidays. It can be determined based on who has time when, as well as what works best for the children. For example, if they are to stay in school, they may need to be with one parent during the weekdays.
The amount of time children spend with each parent will determine how much child maintenance must be paid, as well. Regular visits with the children are usually sorted out so they can see the non-custodial parent on a regular basis.
Certain issues with child access will come up again and again, so many solicitors are familiar with them. The most common cases involve:
Visitation Disruption
Despite previously agreed upon visitations, one parent is disrupting the visitation times. This may occur because one parent is not paying child support and the child is withheld as revenge. In other cases, it may be that the parent doesn’t drop the child off at the right time and place. This can be quite disruptive for the child and will cause even more hard feelings between the parents. If the problem cannot be resolved in mediation, you can expect it to go to court so that the legal system will make the decisions.
Parental Relocation
When one parent chooses to move, this can create problems. It’s most commonly a major issue when the sole custody parent wishes to move elsewhere, even out of the country. This can be frustrating and may disrupt the custody agreement to the point where another court date is necessary. Scottish Law does not allow a parent to leave the country with a child unless they have been granted permission by the courts.
Upbringing Decisions and Disagreements
When the parents are not in agreement with how the child is to be raised, this can cause some rather severe problems and may result in challenging the custody order. Disagreements on how to raise a child can become quite heated and may result in destructive arguments. We can take these matters to court for you if necessary.
Limited Information
When a parent withholds information from the other parent about the child, this can be a reason to head back to the courts. This is particularly problematic when it comes to medical treatments and diagnosis, as well as other important areas of knowledge. When both parents have custody of the child and one parent is hiding things, it can result in a rather unpleasant scene.
Contact Disruption
The non-custodial parent is often allowed to call the child on the phone. However, if the other parent doesn’t answer the phone or refuses to permit their child to speak with the other parent, you could end up back in court again. All these situations are hard on everyone, but if you want to continue to see your children, you’ll need to figure something out.
What to Expect from Family Mediation
Your local family mediator will arrange to sit down with both parents and possibly even the children to help you come to a decision. Going into the meeting, write down your questions so you are ready. It’s important to go in with an open mind and be willing to listen to the mediator explain how everything works.
Before your session
You should also take along documentation of everything you are disputing. You’ll likely be asked for this information during the mediation. You should also plan to have time to mull over ideas. There may be situations and ideas discussed that you are not ready to leap at and you will want to take your time to consider. These are all valid reasons to think.
During the session
The main point of having a mediator there is to help both parents come to an agreement that everyone can live with. Ideally, it should be positive for everyone. However, you need to remember that the children are the most important part of the entire process. What is best for them may not be what is best for you or your ex.
Never rush any decisions. You can take your time in mediation and consider all options. Nothing here is legally binding, but it is important and it will be honour bound. If you are not ready for this, then you should not be entering into an agreement just yet.
Keep in mind that it’s likely you’ll walk away from mediation with some things you want and some you do not. This is normal, as everyone has to compromise a little. Just keep in mind that you are doing your best for your children. This will be a way to ensure they have the best of both parents and are happy.
As a result of the session
The mediator may also wish to speak to children who are old enough to make their own decisions (10 years old and up). They can speak privately with the mediator, just as the parents did. From there, the mediator may offer suggestions that will benefit the child and increase the likelihood of coming to an agreement.
When to Seek Legal Advice
Sometimes, there seems to be no easy way to ensure that you are going to sort everything out. If you are unable to come up with a reasonable plan that your child’s other parent will agree with, then you may find yourself at an impasse. You don’t know where to turn in order to get the agreement you need and you’re being blocked at every turn.
This is when you should consider seeking legal advice. You may also look to a solicitor for help when:
Your children’s parent has withheld them from you for a longer period of time
Mediation has not worked
You fear child abuse or neglect
You cannot contact your ex
These are all situations where you will want to have someone with expertise on your side.
Solicitors Near Me
Are you in need of a qualified child access lawyer? At DJP Solicitors, we have the experts you need. Contact us today to learn how we can help you.
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